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A friend of mines was expressing to me the woes of being married.  I listened attentively… When he jokingly admitted….That his wife…” She only hears the bad parts of anything but she doesn’t seem to do what I tell her to do”…  

I then interjected to him… quietly before laughing  hysterically in his face…. Are you communicating effectively and are you “worth” listening to?…

He digested what I said and got so tickled that he had to regain his composure.  I said “wow” what an ego!  He had to realize that after all the “many”  years he had been married maybe he was the one with the problem.  

It’s amazing when people have “light bulb” moments. It’s equally amazing at the selfishness of others within a marriage. Often times we want to think that it’s always the other persons fault because they don’t understand you.  Even the dynamics of the best relationships anyone can “drop” the ball especially in the realms of being so self-centered and so self focused.  

As nice as my friend is… I know that I might see one side but his wife experiences something totally different at home.   I have said this many many times… I don’t care how educated you are … how rich you are…how in love you think you might be… MARRIAGE IS FOR GROWN FOLKS… AND NOT FOR SELFISH INDIVIDUALS….

My friend realizes that in his on way … He was demanding that is why she “ignored” him.  She only heard the bad parts because he was always showing her the bad parts.  It never dawned on him… that maybe he wasn’t as nice as he thought he was.  

Selfish people don’t need to be married to anyone! Long lasting marriages stay in place like his because she “didn’t” make a lot of fuss but swallowed more than he could,  Yet, here is the danger! You never know what  kind of life she lives outside of him. Naively… he thinks she worships the ground he walks on. 

I laughed  in his face  because I just knew if his “self- centeredness didn’t stop…His wife will ride another line soon if she isn’t riding now…  I was thrown back with his lackadaisical attitude about what she was supposed to doing instead of how he could be more compromising and more loving. 

I thought to myself…. Lord,  he can’t be this “dumb” but he was!

What anyone fails to understand … relationships are not supposed to  be one-sided. Takers in any relationship will bleed you to death in energy and cause more physical and emotional distress because it’s all about them! While givers will continue love no matter what but don’t think that there is no breaking point even with steel. Selfish people can wear you out!

Unfortunately the equal playing  field is “sometimes” come with another level of maturity. And you better pray that it comes… because the boom might be divorce! He talks too much, she just looks at him. She has that assurance that he is just a mouth full of talk!

But what I knew “instantly” about her… She had more gain….because she paid more attention to things… And she always had better discernment when it came to life in generally. Everyone in his life was just great. This is when the other slap in the face comes… He operated in a false sense of reality while she had to be mother, wife and sister friend.  She “allowed” him to play dirty and get dirty even when he couldn’t fore-see pending danger! Although, she made have watched him play…Shel wasn’t the foolish one… He was!

As  my  “Grandmother would remind me as I grew up about a jaw jacker”… Someone who always want to run things including their mouths don’t pay attention to them because their number will come up soon. In so  many words, his or her words are fruitless and don’t carry any weight because of their little actions…

While they run their mouths, run your business. I understand that more and more today.  

In other words… Most people who run their mouths are doing just that. Just make sure you conduct your business and keep it together because their “guards” are down foolishly and ignorantly by being “big” by being a legend in their own minds… But you will have the more positively results by being the wiser!

While he ran his mouth and that was most of the time… She was running the business.  I am amazed at just how many  marriages last when one spouse is so uncaring, foolish, and nonchalant about one’s character?

Sometimes it works… just because! But you then have to wonder are they married in name ONLY?

Yet, in place with the other is a set of rules in which they fail to follow themselves. There is always this line that he or she follows and  the other party fall pretty to ones  insensitivity and pride.  And never realizing just how much this will affect the other!   I want to laugh again at his persistent arrogance ….

I have told many of my people who are married….

Watch quiet storms! There might not be all the display of being a disturbing storm  until one sees the damage later! HMMM?

These are the people who will ride along with your foolishness for  a long time and go to take the garbage out ,.. and never return back HOME!  

My point… Don’t be so caught up in yourself until you misunderstand  the love of someone else. Get yourself off your mind… and think for a moment what are you doing that you are getting the “ignore” button in your marriage? As much as one like to think that their stuff doesn’t stink… It might smell “awful”!

The bottom line… I knew that’s why God sends … help mates…