My Dad was an electrician … and fell off a ladder leaving him with a slew of health problems , with some already existing joints issues. Unfortunately his world came crashing down. He was young as was told he needed a wheel chair but used crutches until death.
His inner turmoil didn’t start and end when he fell off the ladder but long before then. My Dad was a difficult man to deal with. My Dad could say some things out of his mouth that would absolutely floor the strongest man. You just couldn’t believe he said it!
Seemingly it seem as if I was the only one that could handle him, even with his whirl of insults and badgering. People actually believe that I had the patience of Job. This was so far from the truth and reality. And due to the way my father dealt with my two sisters they didn’t even bother… and refuse to show up for the funeral.
When I saw my Dad indulging in sabotaging his own health. What could I say? I was frustrated especially after my Mom died young. I was left with this hard head creature! He did it his way.
Countless times… I would warn him about taking better care of his health. I saw the writing on the wall. Then the day happened… My father was in such bad shape mentally, physically and spiritually… he was diagnosed with cancer that first started in his colon. I knew in my heart that his situation was so far gone and he didn’t share all what the doctor said… He had only so many months to live!
My Dad shut totally down… and stop talking! When men get ill I have no idea what goes on and what the make up really is. I just know they go into the secret mode. How many stories that I have heard told when they have that “man trouble” … they go into the secret mode. Going through their “crisis” isn’t much talking going on then either!
Most women express themselves especially when we go through the change of life. Although we have that selective few that fall apart after hitting 30. And then there is a blank mission of trying not look older but the mirror isn’t lying!
I will admit…If I knew then what I know now…Whew … how much trouble I would have avoided including the stress of life that takes a toll on your overall health.
Men going through the change of life are almost strange. Women tend to get more assured after getting older. Of course we have those days when you feel betrayed by your body. Sometimes you do mourn on how much you have missed or the mistakes you have made. Some women can keep it moving forward yet, the transitions isn’t always easy but it help with the power of prayer, and mediation.
I am simply one of those individuals who is so open to speak about things and want to learn more about this change. Where are the discussion where the old teach the young? I saw a lot of this missing as I begin going through the change. Some women were too embarrassed.
I quickly had to learn to educate myself in many ways. I am just disturbed by the lack of talking about the issues of life and basically a lot of PRIDE … is centered around not being open about these challenges.
One reason being… I didn’t come from a history where there was a lot of talking or asking questions. As quiet as I was I went there! When came to me I would ask and my family would almost hide because they knew I had the courage to say it.
Unfortunately when men begin to go through mid-life crisis… They almost self sabotage …and you find yourself with an individual that becomes almost hormonal responding as if they are teenagers. While women may go through this process she is concerned and prefer doing surveys while men remain quiet.
Our men are raised with the mentality not to share their inner most thoughts or feelings. I have to wonder why so many of them are not in tuned with who they really are. If the measure of a man by his wallet and male machismo… then we are at a loss especially if what they made their world …their world. If his world collides so does he!
If something was to break him like an major setback like illness or sudden loss of employment… He is then like a wounded animal striking anything in path to seek refuge to not deal with reality or the pain that the are dealing with.
So they either run, or have a tendency to grasp to people, places and things that makes them feel that nostalgia or what they “believe” that area of safety! Only to realize he has made some hurried and poor decisions because he cannot express himself. Denial isn’t going to fix the situation but add to them. Maybe it’s time they have classes like we did when becoming a teenager.
Sadly when a man regresses it wont be long before whatever he was out touch with becomes even more of a reality…