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OPEN REBUKE IS BETTER THAN SECRET OR HIDDEN  LOVE( Proverbs 27:5  )… When I really matured in the understanding of this. What power and the liberation that comes behind this verse.   When you honestly love someone this kind of  love isn’t kept in a closet it is exposed to God and the world.  Same thing when you act ugly. it has exposure as well. And it grows!  

You can’t say you love anyone and dine  feed them “sugar and honey”.  Refusing to deal with bad behavior will manifest in ways even you aren’t ready for! The bad and the ugly has to be dealt with!

For me… I don’t have selective reasoning skills and different set of rules for certain people. A dangerous thing to do and this open up the flood gates of questionable leadership abilities.  The truth used properly applies to everything and everyone involved including “popular leaders” who often times use power for persuasion. This keeps God’s people in pit and keeps them from maturing.  It is what it is and skip all the excuses and rationalizing.  The punishment never seems to fit the crime when it comes to what people favor or their picks! Today we rebuke and then kiss tail afterward.  You know the kind of parents that hate dealing with bring confrontation and correction…So they pick unreasonably approaches so they wont be hated or unpopular…so they compromise not so much in words but their actions. thRIAU4HT6

The same in ministry…Whatever choke hold the devil has on leaders today it’s bringing more damage than productivity. If you are surrounded with a certain behaviors you don’t enable the craziness by setting the example of being rebellious in nature yourself.

Coddling the behavior as if consequences wont be down the line with God. First, you allowing the nonsense to go on…on your watch. this has more dire consequences than preachers care to speak against.

Two… Some people just need get a reality check. All that raise people don’t make them the best role models even if they are your parents… and  that is just might be what you have upheld is all wrong. 

You are not an agent of change and you don’t represent Godly change. I know it takes courage to stand even if you are the only one standing.  If you can find anyone in scripture old or new show me where God enabled anyone? And when you were wicked…he called them wicked.

What do I mean?

Even as a leader you have to make hard-core decisions which means some might leave and take their money with them. A huge fear for many who are “self indulged”.  If it’s called by God… He takes care of you!

God said…Open the door and let them go because this is what we call real love…telling people the truth not enabling them to be even bigger fools!

If I could phrase it in this manner.  “YOUR ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. Although many say an all this stuff underneath their breath and show you quietly how much they love  you but when someone loves you there is no hiding  with the truth especially when you know it’s wrong.

I had one parent that pave the way and many other strong disciplinarians in my life from childhood to ministry.  I knew that they cared enough for me not to allow me to become no more than what God called me to be. They weren’t partial or selective to their rebukes like some leaders today.  Want adored and pampered but lack structure and real respect. If whatever an opportunist desires he or she will wag his tail and kiss a lot of it …To get what they want and this still doesn’t mean you will be respected! 

I thank God for the structure that I received, without it I couldn’t touch what I have been assigned to do in my life.

My mother  was instrumental first, she didn’t have to dance around discipline.  It didn’t hurt her to get me together.  Wherever you act up at…my mother dealt with the situation.  My father on the other hand didn’t care who did what… no one was to touch his daughters. But my mother knew the dangers in having his input. He knew nothing about stable mental health . He encouraged the rebellion… He wanted to win with brownie points. This only works temporarily before you see years of failure  in ones behaviors ,unhealthy relationships and poor alliances. They will justify why the surround themselves with bad influences!

And the foolishness of this was simply this it never added up to anything and my sisters never respected him.. but loathe him.

I was the only one that respected my father, not because he was this great father but out of respect and order for my life.  If I  was bucking my parents and getting out of line my mother didn’t want my father feeding me the craziness. If my mother saw you clowning or disrespectful she didn’t play with you she didn’t ignore it, she dealt with it. We had great dental plans because  I was the one that would ask my mother questions  and I had tendency to be real saucy especially when I was wronged! I went there!  So, my mouth was covered just in case I wanted to know why. She was the parent and I had to acknowledged that.  My mother never reasoned with a child although my mother had keen discernment,   she would listen when even an adult came with their craftiness  against me.  My point others had buying price you just have to find out what was the carrot for them!

My sisters thought him to be covered in mixed emotions and had no business having children. I concurred!!! Yet, he was still my father. I respected him because I understood that level of respect to have as my father.  Not because he earned the “father of the year” award.  Because of his order. 

A lot of people will miss this because this didn’t mean I didn’t have to speak with my father about some of his ill behaviors.  My grandmother allowed my “father” to be a jerk. She coddled some of the same craziness I have to deal with today in messy adults today! What a disservice  to God when you want to be in leadership and don’t have the guts to be deal with these shenanigans and get a spine!

I got a call recently from a “youth minister” and a very gifted musician. The minister expressed some great concerns regarding their first lady who had gravitated to someone who the minister thought was “tricky”.   A lot of jealousy and some backbiting which is nothing new in any ministry. Dangerous emotions erupted and a some serious confrontation occurred.  Posted up …God help anyone who has to put their whole lives on the internet.  However, the situation was even worse when the person had stolen something out of the ministers home. The minister’s son was also apart of the situation which made this almost dangerous to touch.  Everyone was aggravated and smoking from their heads and mouths. Words were exchanged… that couldn’t be put back in their mouths.  A fuel situation. And the minister went there with fire power about some secrets revealed out of anger. This is the danger with many leaders who confide too much of their business.  When folks get angry they will tell it!   I don’t care who they are!

The minister pack up  the children and left the church in which the son was also a drummer for the church. Now… here comes the division.

First of all   I knew better to get  all emotionally charged because I knew the minister personally and I had some issues with them as well. I sent the minister packing from my ministry. I don’t handle bad attitudes  or rebellion especially when we serve others. For those who practice this…Go read and study everything on this… You will find that they must be pruned from any minister. Make they exception you will brew trouble 7 times faster and with dire consequence.

It’s funny how folks love to invite you into their mess and you swallow it like a champ. Like many people who love their “folks” and wont get them together out of fear of them leaving. Possess the gift of goodbye in ministry it will save you the heartaches…It’s easier for me to walk away from garbage. It’s those who embrace it… I steer clear from.

I am one who will tell my people it might sting a little but nothing will compare to the damage on the backend, if I don’t take the time to speak the truth and be the truth. I can’t say one thing but advocate something that will go against the Pastors. Pastors can be just as messy as the people that they lead. So I don’t get caught up their dramas either. When there is a sheer lack of spiritual balance anything is game at this point! When there is no boundary set people don’t respect you. Playing it safe is dangerous when you have to tell the truth no matter what. Some Pastors wont say too much in fear that the offering plate and pews are empty. Poor thing afraid of the are no longer worshipped or deified.  But the ignorance in that…God owns everything yet, so many get caught up in the food of the gods each day aka idols!

One of the biggest challenges today is dealing  with individuals who can’t seem to make basic assessment when it comes to correction. Weak ministries doesn’t help. It sets honest ministries to be even more under attack. People don’t deal with the truth today. It’s out in space someplace.

Although many  are angered and outraged  by certain injustices  in the world but nothing is no more than a slap on the wrist when they have deal with their own injustices and  insecurities in their own backyards…When people are beholding to you there is  a tendency to be enthralled with the worship of themselves this compromises trusted integrity.