When you are at another “Red Sea” moment… What do you do? How do you react? Who do you really call on.? Who can you trust to be at your side in times of trouble? I share many, many times… You will see who really cares and love you when trials come. I had to hit the “War Room”…
Oddly, people have the strangest “spirituality” without the use of God. That’s not the work of God. People always talk God not knowing his words… I see what happens on a daily how people act until pressure is applied… What comes out of the mouth on a regular and your actions tells me where you are… But I don’t get caught up in that… I see what I see, It’s what I know what I know!
Just when everything was trying quiet down in my life. It shoots to another kind of high. … I was faced with my own private pain again with my closest friend and family member on a breathing machine ventilator… If anyone could pray it should be me. My humanness stepped in… In more ways than one. My nerves were rattled I was so mentally out of the box I knew I was on auto pilot. I know better than to get to worn down because I was already having some issues with eating and now this happened I am barely eating…
Decisions I held back on , now I am being forced to make. Challenges have a way of making you and breaking you. Tough talk is just tough talk until your face is all the way in it! I had gotten so overwhelmed until I didn’t realize I had sat in the same chair for almost 4 hours. I had to come out of it…I have no other choice. Everything tried to grip me from doubt to fear. I had to breathe and pray. Out of no where… I was hit with some harsh realities of what could happen. Although, she is still alive… with little brain activity… I still had to remind God that it HURTS! No matter how deep I want to appear I still ask God…Why?
It was my turn again for more disappointments and pain… I needed an answer.
I didn’t want anyone speaking to me about God… I was taken completely off my square! In this I had to meditate and reflect what I have been ministering to everyone else all these years. That calmed me! I was getting ready to announce some things I was going to do but now more than ever I became uncertain about everything. It’s at this point… I had to get a grip on reality and believe in the arms of God that I “say” I serve. It’s easy to believe for everyone but then when it comes to you… You go into anxieties and panic attacks because we have having another red sea moment.
I was grieved all last night until I got a strange call from someone who angered me… because I knew this person had created a lot of problems for her on her job. The woman went on and on until ” me” showed up!!! I got so irritated with this nut job until I no longer felt the need to cry. I had to get up and start managing my life accordingly.
Sickness, death and financial challenges brings out the worse in people especially if they feel “strain” to help. Generally, I can irritate people with my calmness. I let people say what they have to say and do what they have to do. I have to take my time to pray and think. Emotions always run high in the beginning. It’s always the long term results that I will have to live with. I have to have that moment with me and God to reenergize my spirit man. It’s amazing when people who loves to be in charge of everything but can’t manage that craziness.
Strange as this sound…that made me get up and get back into fight stance! It’ ain’t over until God says it’s over!!!!