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My mother’s mom, who recently died… and I thought that I would be relieved but I was sad. I wasn’t sad because we had this great relationship but I was sad about all the hell she brought to my  life and so many others. She wasn’t a good person. She in fact, had made it her mission to make sure I suffered on her watch. 

I didn’t like her growing up because I was the only grandchild that she never acknowledged…she hated me! There was no fall out it was sheer jealousy and the color of my skin.  She was open about her disdain of my race. She wanted my mother to get rid of me. The sick part she wanted my mother to hate me as well and not mother me.

She was another one who called themselves a Christian.   She would  lie on me, always trying to set me up some kind of way, call me ugly, or try very hard to hurt me and most of the time she did.

I had gotten to a point in my life that I tried to make it right by being the better person. I would do for her and take care of her, but she ridiculed me …matter of fact she hated me that much more.  God honored me when I stepped up… Although my family cut me off, they could never see God best in their lives. After no attempts to make it right…they were cut off by God.

And  God has opened the door for me to experience something so much greater… a heart that loves!

My grandmother was the typical  church actress ….at church she  appeared to be so super spiritual the  saint   but at home, she was a witch.  She fooled some people but not all of them!!!

She decided that I would no longer be apart of  their family and I was excluded. Her lies, destroyed certain parts of me.  I would come around and you know that you were on the out, no one would even talk to me but at me. I was no longer accepted…

People that we love are often the one’s that hurt us the most. In this lesson I learn the value of who I was…and there  is always someone trying to break your spirit.  It was easy to stay away from her but what about those who pretend to love you and their actions are just as hurtful when you stay?  How can anyone stick around people who try you with undercurrents? 65562_500075936677353_1228406541_n

 They hate to see you succeed, they hate to see you full of joy. They are their happiest when they control the climates even if it is negative.

All of us have had people or things  in our lives that will  try to degrade you or depreciate the value in you based on immaturity, of jealousy or some other negative behavior.

What is so dangerous when you can’t recognize the sabotage. Or the fact that you might be the one that is on a mission of self-destruction by allowing this ugliness to be apart of your life and who you are!  How are you helping to reach your destiny and your goals bringing all the factors that might hinder future successes?

Some people, places and things has to be eliminated in order for you  to see God’s best. Many fear the change and the unknown so the die where they are…Physically, emotionally, economically, and even spiritually. The worst death is spiritual!

My mother’s mom… would actually go around in the church  to certain women especially if they were woman she didn’t like or jealous of… pinch their waistlines.  If she grabbed more than an inch…you were told to go on  diet. Oh my God, she did this to all of us. When I  went through some challenges and I gained a lot of weight, she sat and ridiculed me in front of anyone.   Then when I realize all the time she called me “fat” …a size 7…I wasn’t fat at all..

When I went to look at some old photos of myself … I realize just how small I really was.  I then started live up to what she had spoken out of her mouth. 

When we surround ourselves with people just to say we have someone around and all they do is criticize, and hinder progress  we live at their “expectations” and not God’s. We have to be honest with ourselves and an evaluate things in our lives what we “think” are healthy but are hindrances.  And we have  and assess the damage of the people we may hurt, maimed or abused   protected the bad people and situations  instead of the good.

You have to be a courageous to confront your issues, and make it right. God forgives us if we have true repentance and Godly sorrow. God will repair what me missed. This take more than words bur actions!

People who we allow to be in our lives can be most jealous.  Ask yourself are they really happy for you…or hinder you from being happy? The answer is ALWAYS  clear but can you handle that this part needs to go.

People like  hang around like circling vultures to see you fail by sabotaging your life and often it’s allowed. So many times people enable those who are there to purposely destroy their lives. They have this  co-dependency on each other. We will be miserable together but want the things of God. It will never work that way.  Knowing when the let go is so difficult for them even if they know the person doesn’t like them anyway.

The danger is that when people get in your head you start to believe what they fed you.  You live up to what is expected by them instead of God. Many miss “destiny” because they hold on to dead things when seasons have nor only changed but pass them by.

This means you are not rising above them but you stay beneath them.

I am careful of who feeds me, what I embrace as a relationship and what I interpret that’s joy when it’s misery…

Some people can’t handle where God is taken you, so they plot and carefully  help you mess it up so, you wont get there. That’s not the just  devil that’s bad decisions. It can be even family that pours salt on your tail.. Never  have I seen people so attached to others that bring out the worst in them. They can’t see it because they have areas that needs to grow. That same foolishness is  carried over…allowing others to get in your head and then it springs from the heart. God gives us his best but many will settle for less because it doesn’t require anything or you are too afraid to go after it.  There are the blood suckers who will make sure you never arrive in your heart you know it’s time to move on… but fear keeps you crippled so you stay in misery while God’s best is never captured. You have to learn when someone “loves you” or someone is using you. Will it make a difference especially when you refuse to recognize that they don’t like you?

Being in a familiar place isn’t growth, it is a safety blanket that renders fantasies instead of a joyful future.  Misery loves company,…and too many entertain those who never required more, so their  pity party grows larger and your destiny just grows dimmer!