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Marriages and the family is under the most brutal  “spiritual and attacks”. Too many misconstrue what marriage is all about to warm fuzzy feelings.   Marriage is a self less act. Some people stay in loveless marriages because there was no  love to fall out of that had never been grown into. Love and respect for each other increases with experiences. You can’t marry a child-like mentality and expect a mature adult. All because people are older doesn’t necessarily mean they are marriage material or better yet, mature enough to marry!

How come everyone  else will sense a divorce is coming? People know when its falling apart but so many ignore the red flags until one is presented with a divorce papers. 

Marriage isn’t a job or a chore but a life chance, change and covenant.  Lies wont hold any marriage but will tear it apart.  Marriage is to compliment each other. Sometimes one spouse can see what the other can’t…It’s called protection!  Too many have forgotten how to protect their family and their marriage.  The first responders for bad marriages shouldn’t be your messy friends! Truly godliness is revealed when you are in a commitment to become one. gods-way

Things can bring threats to any marriage… If there is no time in…there will be no time put out.  And what is put in will finally come out.

More complimentary toward the opposite sex than your  spouse, dual lives, offenses, things that have opened a  wound and you ignored, more time working with others than building your own  family, affairs, displaced values, pornography, lust of any kind, and  the list is endless…why Christians  may end up in divorce! 

People will often repeat what they saw their parents do. And I have to say…If it didn’t measure up with God then your parents had it wrong.  Too many will cover up their mistakes instead of exposing and implemented the correct value on people and marriage.  Marriage isn’t about controlling, or manipulating your spouse. True love will value not depreciate.  Yes, there are some people who shouldn’t even entertain the idea of being married.

If your parents cheated on each other,it didn’t make the marriage healthy, it breeds  more dysfunction.  Staying with someone you don’t like is  like a death sentence. Being someone who you know has your best interest and will love you unconditionally will build stronger marriages.  Marry cruel people wont make you that much loving. You will despise them later after life sets in.

It was shared with me and I share it with my readers. “Marriage is for mature adults”. Too much time shopping for the dresses than to invest in the marriage. Marriage is a covenant made by God. Some people take this lightly! When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing and obtain “favor” with the Lord.   Many woman ride out and quote this verse but many have no idea what this means. 

If Christian women really understand this…then what are they looking for? Yet, so many post themselves up to looked at or eyeing for attention, is the first sign, you have no idea what God intended for marriage to be. 

Many women “bomb” out of desperation to take anything that is giving them that attention.  I think one of the most insulting for me…is the fact that so many women have reduced themselves in order to be picked like the new modern-day slave trade.  The lack of female value has depreciated. Sex sells but it wont hold a marriage together. So much has been emphasize when you decide to take that final step …being committed for life to death.  What you see isn’t always what you are going to get… and sometimes  what is often displayed is what you will have to contend with.  People would laugh at me because I refuse to start anything as this  show pony. I put my foot forward and it’s not always my best, as one might think.   I can’t be no more than who I am. See my imperfections, get over it now so there wont be any surprises.   Lies have a way of breaking trust little by little.  Putting on all the frills isn’t going to even hold any  relations of any kind or a marriage together.  I just can’t start with things I know I can’t finish. Too many look for others to rescue them when first they have to be honest with themselves.

When you marry someone you can both be Christians and still unequally yoked. So many factors involved. I believe in counseling before marriage for some but not all especially when so many issues might be pertinent. Marriage is one of those things that has to be selfless. Many marriages are not working not because of what people think it is… Simply because of  too much “self centeredness” . The your way or the highway mentality. If it is to survive… being thoughtful might be the very thing that will stop divorce proceedings.

I hear it all the time…the one side love of affair with self. Not projecting how decisions will affect them as one or will this bring offense to the marriage. Doing it…will effect the marriage in what way? People forget that they are married, in fact they still act as if he or she is still single. 

People that are immature really needs to buy a  stuff dog and stay with that. When you are too self-absorbed there is very little room in you life to consider anything else and with the ownership of a pet  it will show you just how much you will invest in being someone with two legs. Evaluate that first.

Secondly, when I hear people  are getting marriage advice from someone who is just as selfish as there are… I ask did you consult God about him or her? Or did you lend too much of your business with the wrong people.  Did you listen to your spouse or degrade them by listening more to others?

 I  don’t trust people, they can give ill advice assisting you to divorce while they stay married to whatever they are in.  Honestly,when you have no idea about marriage God will direct you… the best information if often is between you and the person you are about to marry. Talk and be more prepared to be a better listener.

There are  no books that can actually be written on life and marriage… too many variable can often change one situation.  Communication is a two-way street.  To avoid divorce carefully consider when it’s the last approach.  I have seen the smallest adjustments can revive strength in a marriage. It’s not often money it’s investing in time. If you don’t have the time, to be quite honest you wont be married!

If you honestly loved each other, it wont go away by getting a new replacement without some level of time between you and the past wounds. Divorce can leave a deep wound. So, many jump in another marriage not evaluating why the last one failed. Abuses and infidelity can be grounds for divorcement, which I concur. Get out of you are going to change the person, it is who you are marrying. 

If a man or woman is gay, you are not to going to marry them into being heterosexual.  I warn people, if a person is selfish then he or she will be that much selfish later. If a person disrespect you before, it will happen later. A whore will be a whore. Bedding them down wont keep these spirits under control. 

I have heard all the foolish things men and women say. You can look but don’t touch.  That’s not what God has to say.  Its disrespectful married or otherwise. There is looking, and then there intent.  Too many  have  been trained to lusty and perverted especially in church. Open affairs are not challenged because of too many weak leaders. 

Some church has honestly lack luster in building character today. Being too familiar with leaders have murdered what God called order. That is why so many do what they want in the open …the lack of respect for God and the god that one’s leaders say he or she serves. Uncomfortable things need to be addressed God will hold us accountable. God doesn’t care about what we feel to do but what we fail to do when you say God called you.

I have actually  seen it and heard men and women say…they have a side piece when the spouse acts up.  Wow! God goes out the window. Too many leaders are murdered for dipping off. It’s more a common place. When divorced are introduced people can often snap!

 If the person has  issues with eye control and lust… don’t even bother to marry them.  You don’t divorce for silly things. If you married on conditions then you are already at a loss. Avoid the divorce by being sensible marry proper and without the fleshy agenda. Keeping it real means you don’t lie and be dishonest. 

A relationship works when there is full cooperation with both parties.  Meaning we don’t opt on singleness when it comes to what should be equally done…like parenting.  Ministers are losing spouses by the dozens due to that lack of understanding about the  God they think they are serving. If God blessed you with a spouse you better go and seek him about when it goes wrong. If emotions are running high, don’t  make foolish mistakes based on ego or  pride. In your heart you know when you have messed up, don’t make excuses make it right! 

Traveling all over the road while one spouse does all the work… it wont work! There is no  family balance which will lead to resentment about your lack of commitment! You will not only have a divorce coming but a bitter household.  This is a cope out not being at home or while one continues his or her self fulfillment instead of marital responsibilities. You will not be married that long.  Divorce always seem to be the shock to the one that committed all the offensive. Why?  It’s call SELFISHNESS…

People God hates divorce… but , God will give the grounds when you need one!