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When someone do not get angry… I ask why do people say  do not get angry? Anger is apart of the human emotion.   I disagree on many areas  about being angry.  God gets angry and it depends on where a person is in their own lives… that they approach life without anger. If you can do this… God Bless you.  I am pretty much balanced in my temperament but it doesn’t exclude when on any given day that can go out the window.  In the church we are taught to be phony.  Knowing that if the heart posture doesn’t change you will be right back at it again… Getting angry!!   You can get angry  but don’t sin with it!

I openly admit a lot of people are deceived by my calmness.  There are times I have to leave the room because I know if one more word or action is done,… I can go there!

What I have learned  to do is be open about hurt, abuse or open wounds. Offenses will come.  I am “never” claiming I have it all together.  These are might steps to get healed after being wounded. The danger is when you waddle in the dirt of others. I rather laugh than cry but it depends on what the crying is all about!

You can’t run from pain but I just know what to stay away from so that I don’t set myself up to be offended.  What do I mean?  Often times we get the “red flags” about something or someone so, you think you can influence their behavior.  Behavior has to be something someone wants to change. People spend too much time trying to change people. I know when someone shows me who they are… I believe it! I want to see who you really are. I don’t need to be putting on fronts or false pretenses!

I know when I am offended and I wont lie about it… I have to ignore offenses because there are too many… and once you  understand  that sometimes people don’t know that have hurt or offended you, or what the offense might be. That can be good or bad. Some people just don’t care if they are offending others…just say and do whatever and these are never wise moves!

I know and I have been told by people… I my calmness  irritates and offends them …even when the situation is out of control. They want me to react. I do… but  on certain terms. I am careful,…  I have learned to keep my mouth shut when I want to  lose it. Because if the wrong people are around, it can be taken out of context.  People want to see you lose it….

And guess what ?  The same people who watched you get there…will be the same people will hold you to what you say and do. I know better to get out of character. And this can only be done if  it is inside you to begin with.  I honestly  don’t rant and I was raised on civilized conversations this takes the heat out of saying things you don’t mean. I might look at you strange but I discuss and not argue. 

Of course, people ask how do I do that?  That is my make up,  to watch you make a fool out of yourself. I know once words come out of your mouth  in anger you can’t put them back. So, why say anything that I have to apologize for…. I simply “SHUT UP”! .

I just let folks say and do whatever but I have every right to say my piece and leave it alone. For whatever reason, we have been taught to ignore the feelings of offense, but have to ignore offense in order to move forward…. Although if we don’t put everything in its proper perspective you could wind up bitter. I say work through it. You can’t make anyone get over an offense by just quoting scriptures but walk them out!  

I have  had betrayal among family, a so-called friend, even by people I thought loved me.  I have things done in my face that I was crushed publicly. It hurts! I am not a person that say well get over it. I say be honest about it, say it, deal with and let it go! I did my spiritual bonfire already.  I will have them as needed. I don’t wait to the  New Year to declare this newness and forgiveness.

Forgiveness keeps me grounded humble and not humiliated. Although if someone has hurt me or wounded me in a ways I can’t handle. I have to give it to God and decide what to do with the offense. Do I keep this or give it away?  I must be the better person, and sometimes that might be a pruning away  from ill meaning people but I have to decide how much power I want you to have by being angry!

  I am not confuse about love. I know when anyone is genuinely concerned about my well-being. It’s not lip service. Change can be quick or it can be slowly. I am real about where I am at.   I can’t be someone  I am not.  I have seen people spend fruitless time asking God to change people,… I ask why don’t you change instead?

People are irresponsible not accepting when they have wronged another. I am not waiting to hear “I am sorry”… I am waiting for the action of it all. Some people have a history of just apologizing.

I don’t want to  hold anything against anyone but it still doesn’t mean I wont cry about it  or have a moment. My heart and the hurt is real…undeniably!  Yet, how the wound will govern me is on me. I know some people say I forgive you but  I wont forget it… I say okay!  Scars are reminders. Whatever purpose that a wound serves….I have to be careful to allow it heal. Meaning I know that offense has taken place but it is what I do with the offense. Pray for people who hurt you. I have to do it… It depends on the level of offense… and trust is broken… You might not get anymore dinner invitations from me.  I am human and not stupid. Some people don’t care how they treat others. Only you can decide if a relationship or the person is worth the effort.  Marriages are the same….only the people within it the marriage knows how deep the wounds are. If there is reconciliation we first have to admit there was  more hurt than blame!

 I remember something my about my late Aunt Sylvonia told  me years ago. Don’t train your children to be liars. In other words, stop being phony about where you are and what you feel… there is still a way of expressing yourself without offending others.

 As Christians I know that we have been taught that just avoiding things heals or delivers you ….but I know today it’s so much more than that! I was expressive no matter how quiet my demeanor is … I know how to say you hurt me… and I asked why? Too many of us try our best to play it off…I am unapologetic about it… I just can’t!   Once I free myself from the offense… I said “myself”… Because your feelings can also hold you hostage. I have to move on but absolutely understand where people are.

Some people are cold and without conscious, full of pride…they are never wrong. In fact, people like this are always wrong with thin skin.Yet, they  dish it out but what until it’s their turn… we get to see temper tantrums.  Maturity is something  all of us must continue to work at.  People think that I am too silent about some offenses recently that need to expressed and tell the world  about… Certain things I know I better to  just leave alone. I am purposely ignoring these offenses but God is aware of it. Wounds stay open because we all things to fester.  Hurt is hurt and pain is pain. God knows who has done what and   why.   God has never forsaken me…

 Any of us can offend someone it’s really the heart and actions  that things are done in. Never be too big to say you are “Sorry”.  Some are terribly offended about the truth and the offense of standing for the truth is worth taking…God offends us all the time when he commands us to do something and we  fail  to do it because what he asks offensive in our mind!

But if you are the offender for the lies and discord… I know when God seeks his revenge he can serve you up a lot better than any of us can! Don’t allow offenses to hinder or separate you from God. Pray for those who persecute us in actions, words,deeds or their mere silence!