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th (23)

 True love has always been more than a one way street. Marriage is actually a “selfless act”… and when people get together they seem to be shocked that their spouse is either more bratty than they thought along with immature and selfish.   A woman told me the she was going to get married and I had to tell her that ” NARCISSISM” SHOULD NEVER MARRY…  Oh she cried… I am not selfish… I said but you are all about YOU…. She said he looks so unhappy and he’s drinking considerably. I then asked her… Have you ever discussed what he wanted? She looked at me as if I cursed her…She said he is immature in some areas. By this time… I knew who was immature and narcissistic too.  

According to her she did no wrong it was obvious who was running the show because as long as she got her way.  They were perfect! It was all about her… But if he did have something to say she justified her bratty behavior with some strange reason… and it  seems to always be about her.  

I had to go there… I said these words…” You have no business trying to be anyone’s wife because you don’t even know how to talk to him let alone respect his feelings”.  She demanded and he complied  because he was the selfless one.  It always work when the other spouse has no input.

 He didn’t seem to  have too many options she basically had little regards to what he was feeling  how anything affected him.  But I knew if the scales don’t become balanced…She was going to miss out and some other woman would respect HIM… better!  He understood compromise in a relationship. 

Every conversation was about what she wanted and never what she believed she needed.   Of course the man was a quiet guy he has no other choice when her “I” was dominating…  I tell my husband friends… “that if you some of you paid more attention” to your wives some they will handle things better.  There is no plan book for marriages but I know the basis is that “self” has to be moved out-of-the-way. A little give should be on both parties.  

I tell husband give your wives the proper attention and you would be surprise how it turns things around  People abuse one another in  one-sided marriages. All because someone doesn’t open their mouths and reject means they are okay with selfish behavior.  Neglect leads to erosion in most marriages.  God said your marriages reflect your love for God…  Well that ends a lot of marriages.  Both need be more mindful of the attention they need to give to each other.  I have seen more men watch other women than be attentive to the woman that they have. If the focus can be healthy marriages would thrive.  No one wants their spouse self indulge. You can tell the people who are in love with each and the ones that tolerate each other. Its sad… People can sense “tension” between spouses.   People really don’t understand the power marriages have. Too many marry wrong…when I say wrong.    Marriages become more solidified when people decide to be more caring and concern for each other than when it’s all about one side. One side marriages become tainted  quickly because a door is left open for the marriage to be attacked.  After while the neglect and the selfishness will become overwhelming!th (20)

Being equally yoked mean same page… Love Day is around the corner… rekindle romance back in your marriage and be more attentive to your marriage…it mends your heart and connect the missing dots!