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th (48)

Lets be honest… so many don’t know what to trust because of the what might appear sincere and genuine…definitely pursuing what might be causes of their own. Billy is a fictional character  but can be easily understood even with the greatest minds read just how simple this message is…

So many young people have lost the “respect” for adults because of the decisions they see adults make. I understood all too well…It’s complicated…and sometimes it’s just another word for  “I’m lying and I can’t explain it”… (LOL)  The open hypocrisy telling them one thing but see something entirely different! 

The story of Billy is based on how we carry the baggage over into adulthood and never come to grips what God has called us to be. Often people make choices but they are necessarily made by God. It never works so a life of pretending like you know what to do…when you don’t. Never having the courage. What we thought  we knew we don’t.    It starts like this… Billy had a somewhat decent upbringing but he was often conflicted because of his Dad’s views. As dysfunctional as Billy  family was …He lied and lived in a more perfect world… in his head….without limits, without boundaries…which was a clear indication whatever he becomes there is another side that embrace evil things!

… He enjoyed living on the edge but he had other issues in his home that he could never disclose to others….so he pretended.  Billy often ran with the wrong crowd and he hung out with the wrong people just to fit in…Like any mother she warned “Billy” of what he called “friends” and connected himself too.

You see, Billy always felt inadequate  and not measuring up so he connected with people he” thought” he could have the advantage over. Billy, surrounding himself with the town bullies just like him talk loud, but couldn’t make a move without his gang.   That made him feel “important. Just like any “gang” they thought Billy was simple, so they let him feel like he was one of “them”…

He didn’t care what they said or what they represented he just wanted to belong.  But inside Billy often feared the group that was strong in who they were so he basically stayed in the zone where he learn to hide instead of growing…Sound like some adults we know right?  Oh Billy talked the game but never realize that game was always being ran on him. That is what we call denial! 

Billy knew God to some degree  but was often influenced by the voices in his head and the people who played with his head.  His mom talked often about being true to himself…he couldn’t he feared not being liked. So, Billy never really had a voice he
just mimicked what he saw instead of trusting God to bring him full circle…There was a side to Billy that played games and pretended to be humble. There was no level of respecting authority because his Dad taught him how to be disrespectful do what he wanted.
His Mom, God bless her she repeated the lessons in life. Treat others the way you prefer to be treated was the lesson in Sunday School. All the time Billy didn’t believe in God entirely he faked it…this pleased his mother. Billy couldn’t admit he was drawn to evil things! 

Billy wasn’t going to stay young forever so he switched gears to throw people off and became so well at acting he didn’t know what was no longer right. He just did thing impulsively… What a good mother Billy had because she steered him the best way she could but there was an element inside of Billy that his Dad ignored he didn’t want Billy to be a “sissy”…so let Billy just be a boy. This is the craziness of this .  Telling the boy he was weak instead of building him… Billy was destroyed in the inside. He had no idea who he had become so  his attitude about life and people changed…His Dad had warped sense and the mother knew  that Billy had some issues and her husband had no values…she was raising two children. So Billy developed anxieties and fears.  

And  he fell to the peer pressure…so he learned never to be himself and wasn’t a leader he followed. Poor Billy couldn’t get out of the habit of following the wrong things.  Sadly, we see adults this way… Can’t seem to be beat the cycle of generational dysfunction so he subject himself and insert himself where he doesn’t belong. He feels the emptiness inside so he overindulged in anything missing the small foxes and the fox holes in his life.th (49)

Billy thought the foolish behavior of his father was top dog being a man without rules. He later found out that not only was his father belittle women. He had little self – respect for his mother and women in general. Billy’s father was abusive…

In fact Billy had no respect for anything  this is where his mind got stimulated with just enough of being edgy and too scary to go to jail but made  friends with the common thugs and rogues. Billy  just pretended that  he had it going on…His Dad has issues but his mother covered him and told him what she believe was right. Here is the thing about Billy…. Being the underdog… he found   what he thought was  his advantage but not a God’s  choice but human err.

We often try to steer out children the right way but Billy got his hooked up  mentally in the wrong direction.  With wrong people he hit pay dirt…Not sensing the urgency of what was at risk “Billy ” made all the wrong choice… and found himself depressed…He had already spiraled he just kept his monsters hid.  And  because Billy had couldn’t  accept anything good he adored things that were often tainted. This became “Billy’s way of life.  We never found out who he was because he didn’t know himself. So he dined his  entire life on what as superficial…Just like his life…It look good on the surface but only the “trained” eyes knew he had become a bully himself…

Who he was so he did…He wanted to be a “bad boy” pretending to be strong but so very weak in character.  He did what pleased others instead of being himself…So as he became an adult the lies of who he was spiraled out of controlled… Billy became disenchanted so he became “bitter Billy”…  Vehemently  denied he has issues until he died!

Billy’s  childhood spilled into adulthood…the same bullies he identified  has chosen as children resembles the same group of adult  he remained entangled with. People who struggled over self acceptance so they got into tearing others down . Billy  friends  was the cause of his death! Blindly went somewhere he shouldn’t so instead of  going in the opposite direction he was led by his feelings AGAIN!!!  Billy got set up… 

When he died there  was two sides  of the  church and the cemetery. The ones that thought he was a fool and  he thought loved him the sound of nothing but chaos .   The other side was empty it was  quiet… where people who tried to help him but moved on.  

Then there was  two sides to the cemetery just like the church… One side was of peace…that was where is mother was buried  …on the other side was Billy’s Dad..the one man who was just  there but never a father…. everything symbolize nothing but noise…There he laid…Mr. Greg   William  Knight… Who was Greg  William Knight?…

Oh I forgot to tell you about this part… He never knew his name he was led by what  they called him instead of his God-given name he was called to protect. He lived so long being called “Billy” . He died a mean  old goat!!!!… 

 

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