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th (9)

THE EPIDEMIC OF IDENTITY CRISIS IS KILLING OUR PEOPLE IN EPIC PROPORTIONS. THE NOT KNOWING WHO THEY ARE …WILL ATTACH THEM TO THINGS UNNECESSARILY NOT HEALTHY FROM MENTORS TO MAYHEM. KNOWING WHO YOU ARE ANNIHILATES THE SCRIPTS TO FRONT.

When anyone have a tendency to share all the good and that they arrive without struggles and heartache. I don’t know about them… You see people completely alter themselves for the cliques…status or otherwise. Some connect with the abyss just to say they are in the “in crowd” whatever that is. To me it’s only a warning signs that danger is ahead…sooner or later they will crash and burn because the acceptance membership changes always with time. Either the clique will change or you will mature to re-examine what you have connected life with! Mentally this is always a bad place!

Joy and pain s are still part of my life. It doesn’t disappear it shows up in different ways.People who want to be accepted gravitate unhealthy to people,places and things as if it will shed light on them in a positive manner. Honestly, whomever you decide to tangle with doesn’t necessarily represent you but shows about what one is desperate enough to do to prove that they don’t like themselves.  I have seen people taking pictures with themselves to show how they arrive but it wont tell the entire story. They say a picture is worth a thousand words than if you believe that …then there are some pictures I wont dare show!  People love appearing advanced but it’s when they are face with that they are not the sharpest knife in the drawer they feel inadequate so they find the people to make themselves “LOOK” grand but really poor in spirit!  

Alongside people who know how to be themselves they become in fear of them seeing the real who they are. So they stay clear of being exposed because it is then that they have to remove all the fronting and the masks. Not being ready to be real they gravitate to a life that is superficial. Even it is fake they pretend for years and the fear of coming clean sends them into anxiety attacks of not being good enough or no longer accepted. Not for one minute can they accept themselves and they actually believe people think they are genuine. In fact most people already recognized the fraudulence that’s why they RUN from what will awaken the fantasies!

People love to live vicariously through others.  I have no idea what happened and why it happened. They hate who they are so the put on all these faces and airs.. It those things that hurts us that drives us…good or bad. Thorns are identified as things that pricks our lives. We complain about the adversities in our lives. Some people are so embarrassed by where they come from. So they take on acting 101. I see it day and day out. They don’t want anyone know  how bad it really was so, they give you just a smidgen of how good it smells…when it was blue funk then and even bluer funk now! 

I remember former NBA star  Charles Barkley saying that he wasn’t anyone’s role model and let your parents be your role models. I understood where he was coming from because my “mother” didn’t understand the role model thing and to be perfectly honest I still don’t.  When it comes to people I have to keep not just an open mind about them but a fair assessment of any human being…they have faults. Personally, when someone overcomes obstacles… I give them adulation …this is as far as it goes.  There are no perfect human beings on this planet.

When I see so many grown folks with identity issues it is clearly a “red flag” that something wasn’t quite complete. When you find yourselves mocking or emulating someone its a sign that you haven’t quite reach the potential of loving yourself.  When I write it’s what God gives me… I don’t have to imitate anyone’s style.

How I write isn’t up for sale… it’s me! I don’t know if this is one of those weird parts about me… but I haven’t met anyone that I have become so consumed with until I don’t know how to be me. Well, whatever I bring to the table if it is just a “bit”  that’s all will be at the table. Being complete means… regardless of what you might think of me and who I am…It’s what I respond to that will matter the most. I came from a  household that was taught discipline and manners.

Today, it’s almost as if it is “curse” to respectful. Being polite is not a thing of the past. Some people wont tell the truth about  where they came from and how bad it really was because of the lifestyle to front…

A true story…A woman  had bad feet, and I am a stickler about wearing what works for me. Tight clothes and shoes are apart of my life.  I can’t wear things that hurt.  I need the comfort I sweat easily and I don’t care for the discomfort of always having to check it.  If shoe hurts my feet brand new… I give them away immediately.  

I am a living witness about a bad shoe expensive or cheap… As crazy at it sounds her feet where beat up and they were ugly. I am like Lord… how did she get all those knots on her feet… Sadly,. she said people made fun of her big feet because she is a tall lady… so, she wore shoes that were too small… When she looks back although, she had large feet they weren’t all knotted up from abuse. I know this isn’t this fabulous make over story but that just it… Everyone wants to sound appealing and overcoming but no one ever wants to talk about thorns.

As confident as she appears to be… that one insult carried throughout her life…She is older , and now because of her bad feet she can’t wear a shoe closed in.  She said she wished I had your “tiny feet”. She said she hasn’t seen feet as small as mines since being born.  It sounds hilarious but it hurts my heart. To know that what people said and thought ruled her until she became someone else and had the bad feet to show it.  She abused her body to front as if no one can still recognize her huge feet. She is a tall lady! 

And I said to myself… It is so easy to get hurt by someone and they rule in your life and in your head  to the point you stop being you and start doing something like wearing shoes too small.

I wondered maybe that is why she was always grumpy her feet hurt…  

The abuse of authority, welcomed rebellion  and we wonder why there is violence. People join gangs and cliques as a way of belonging. I am afraid that such generations still exist… being something they are not. I can’t give someone who doesn’t exist because sooner or later you will look for what attracted you to me…If I am appearing one way the surprise is later.  I am not an actress that do all  of  this faking and pretending. That is truly one thing my mother instilled in me…do me whether anyone likes you or not. Accept you but fine tune who you are in a positive way… What greater mentor can I can  have if I can’t identify with what God called me to be.

The thorns are outgrowths, adversities and even infectious if stuck to many times. Bitter and sweet. Although on the rose smells good and one of the prettiest flowers are prickled with danger!

When I see so many young and old, rich or poor are just lost … repeating history with cheap carbons…Create your own history. When I studied for myself just how messed up people were my perspective isn’t so much of their work it is much of what sustain them to create such work.

I don’t put anyone  on a pedestal. You will begin to think they are a god when in fact, they had turbulent lives but hid it. Being victorious is not hiding from the past but being great despite the turbulence.  there is no such thing as a thorn less rose…but a rose who had thorns and had them removed…

Think about that?

To make someone a star is based on exactly what you admire. If you are exceptional in your craft. That’s great… if there is something I can learn from  you…that’s even  greater. Other than that…that’s all it  I can be relational to  what they achieved no more or no less. These are human beings that were maybe more “jacked up” than you are!

They don’t know how to be themselves because they buy into what they think people will accept. I know that I was born different and above average. And only the priceless can spot a gem. I can’t pump myself up pleasing people by pretending I am something I am not. My fingerprints are that of my own…never someone I admire. Blueprints are meant to be merely followed than re- duplicated. When I speak I speak, when I sing, I sing…when I write,  I write…when I dress I dress… I know how to be me! I thought about the thorns in another way…  THORNS ARE WHAT CAN BECOME A ROSE BUT ARE APART OF THE STEM THAT MAKES THE ROSE!

I might stand on the shoulders of GIANTS… BUT FOR REMINDS ME…It is  my physical  “FEET THAT I STAND WITH”… Ain’t nothing like the REAL THING!!!!

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