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th (14)

It makes me tired I deal with the jealous hearted so fiercely. I can’t understand the purpose of this emotion especially the foolish bickering among the no God lovers. I am sorry… It has gotten to a point that I almost hate being bothered with the church. As I get older my tolerance for the foolishness has comes to a complete end.

I have no other choice but to deal with it because of the relentless attacks. You know there is something to you when the women can’t handle a “lady”. Some don’t know my name… but I watch them hate! If it’s not my hair, its my clothes, it’s my body, it’s my bible…And God is tired of it,  so you can only imagine. When I can appreciate the beauty of another whether it’s their gift, education, whatever he or she brings to the table we are to honor one another.  

I tell people if I wore a camera all day… you wouldn’t believe the level of jealousy I am confronted with.  I write about “bullies” a lot because I have dealt with bullies as a child…and now that I am “middle age” I am still dealing the crazy females in a church. I am fighter by nature…so I avoid all the pitfalls of getting p…off!  th

My family has become more concerned about me being in a church of all places… They worry if I travel alone because they have seen the jealousy and it’s ridiculous. There is no story to tell when I am subjected to the church witches. When I realize that I deal with another level of it …the more I mature the more they hate… It can’t be explained!

…I have no other choice to be alone because I can’t trust the cattiness of some females and the allegiances to their common thread of feeling threatened!  I am not a jaw jacker… I am not one for negative speech… I don’t allow myself to be involved with anyone who can’t seem to say the right things without being messy and a gossiper. I don’t care for messiness, manipulations, jealousy, conniving and controlling!

I am not afraid…but I know how dangerous this can get… I am at a point where I’m honestly tired of dealing with it.  I write about this every year… I have to deal with the extreme jealousy. I don’t take this lightly, something is terribly wrong!

 I am personally ousted out of many things in ministry because I see when the buzzards are circling to attack what they think they will make me dead meat. If “especially” immature women are in charged or involved in the church .

I think I have to video tape my life in the church I know what I deal with would go VIRAL.  Jealous females are in need of help!… It becomes serious because you can never pin point the set ups or who will be apart of the set ups.

You can’t understand when someone has plotted to kill me before out of jealousy. I don’t have to explain to anyone why I don’t care to be bothered with the very mentally disturbed women in church. When I say NUTS… THEY ARE NUTS!  

The game is on is when you find people trying to play the game without acting like they are not playing the game in order to make others hate me out of sheer jealousy. I thought this mess had ended years ago but it’s even worse now.

A lot of insecure women latch to church in the likes of finding more messiness to breed their jealousy and insecurities  and to land Mr. Lusty I mean  Mr. Right…(LOL)  That’s why they stay… evil minds think alike…

These are generational demons they don’t leave because they breed proudly connect to each other’s negativity.  They are like vampires they suck the life out of people and you wonder why people become bitter and detached. It is their venom they like to place inside of  you.   God teaches me how to exercise common sense and outsmart the simpletons!

 When you have more women in church than men here comes the cat fights especially those who are  desperate to be looked upon…it’s like a slaughter-house.

They become even that much more territorial God forbid if it’s a single man they act like cockroaches. As is every man belongs to them and some are married. Some are so insecure about positions and titles they will dual to the death to think that they are just that important.  I see all that Jesus in them all the time. Plotting and planning like snakes! That’s when you know just how powerful you are they have to come in packs like “wild dogs” and even then…The God in me still stands!  These folks don’t know God and they aren’t sincere Christians either…It’s a game!

God is bigger to me than the social gathering on Sundays! I don’t hide it and I want the world to know what I deal with even with the women folks in my family. Lord, when I can intimidate any female to the point I am her obsession… this wont devalue me, no matter how much game is being played! When others fall for the foolishness in order to put me in my place… I say you really don’t know God… and my strength to deal with the crap!

I thank God  I know who I am  and the powers that be that no devil in church intimidates me…and you can’t punk me!!!! As stupid as this sounds … my looks, pretty clothes, and quietness disturbs these monsters!

I know when its time  to walk away because the attacks are strong. If I had any self-esteem issues I wouldn’t have them anymore to make a female and some men go  this  ballistic when I step foot in a room that’s POWER AND I AM NOT INTIMIDATED by the numbers!!!!

I am use to a lot of attention but I am not an attention seeker …but it’s apart of my persona…I draw people. Haters are going to hate… I don’t run  from a good fight either but I have to know when its time to move on!  

My mother when she was alive had to fight the bullies in my family off.  I am big enough to go toe to toe with any GIANT even if they are in the church house. We need to offer classes to the women who can’t seem to get  their monsters under control  and how have poor self esteem!

When I say this isn’t normal…It isn’t!  I am not discouraged but I can sense it’s about to come to blows.  I have to keep my distance with the nonsense especially if I sense that the evil is no concern to others! I am more than aware to avoid all appearance of evil even if it’s in the church. I will let God handle my haters and its time that he does! GOD MADE ME PRETTY INSIDE AND OUT …SO, GET OVER IT!!!!