Community and Social Activism, Education, Family Relationships, Fatherhood, Gang Violence, Gun Violence, Philosophy, Rites of Passage, Social Causes, Social Justice, spiritual maturity, Strong mentoring and ministry
The truth and honest dialogue seems to be missing. Yet, all the right ingredients are right in our faces but many fail to recognize… We can’t demand respect and we are not respectful! How hypocritical has this been proven. Okay, society is teaching our boys to be boys…but never go from boys to men!
In other words… they are trained already to be thoughtless and less thought-provoking. Skirt chasing, play hard, don’t cry , all this other “macho” garbage. Many of our young male youths join “street gangs” for many reasons… Just like the churches have cliques! It’s about having a place to get along to get your “foolishness” on! The desire to feel like you belong to someone or something is what some people get caught up and caught off guard with. There is nothing wrong about wanting to be belong to something but you must question…
You must ask yourself…
1)Is it healthy?
2)Is it productive…for my mind, body and spirit?
3)Does it inflict and ripen negative or positive reinforcement?
Feeling good doesn’t necessarily mean it’s always right! I question the way people say they love. I had to realize as a mother… That people do whatever they want to do… even if they know its wrong and will lie to themselves while they are doing it!
Most people have the concept of things that are right, but do the wrong things anyway! It feels good, it looks good and everybody else doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. The question I ask… OR DO THEY? Believing that being involved in abusive and senseless situations …and that bad decisions wont effect them later!
Let me also reiterate that its not only the “so called stereotypical” non-productive men that are in gangs. The right in your face, so called positive …Leaders are sometimes has the worse parenting skills. They might be called to do something but then use their leadership as a way of not building of their “own” families.
I know that many of you might think I will ride out on just street gangs and absentee fathers… but I am speaking about the heart of any man. So many feel it’s either to speak about the violent men in the streets but we have them in every arena of our lives including living with us.
There are some men who “believe” that they are providers and think that’s it. The family structure is always destroyed because of sheer “selfishness”. Some men do things to stay out of their own homes because that is where the “truth” will lie. It might seem easier to run away than to face what “monsters” you have either created or incubated!
Let’s set the record straight all because a “Father” is in the home doesn’t mean that he is a father. Another deception! I have heard people harbor the lie that their father worked all these jobs later to find out he had time to have another family on the other side of town. Sperm donations are on the rise because I believe in sometimes in poor moral choices. Women… He can be well educated and good looking but lousy husband material. Money and education is no indication that he non abusive either. Seed planting without proper cultivating the harvest equals bad fruit! Simple deduction!
We have to re-examine why so many of our men turn into anything but what God wanted him to be . And that is responsible! You might even have this super career… but a jacked up household. A healthy balance is vital!
It’s the truth and many shy away from it! Sadly, I see people put their heart and soul into a bunch of nonsense… And ask them when they are readily available to see the truth…and be the truth?
Hold up wait a minute? That’s too much to deal with. As much as we like to blame someone else… A personal assessment on what one value needs to be re-examined! The double standard of teaching our men to be too hard and too tough to cry is over rated…Christ cried… and was far from being called a “Punk”.
Our moral standards are far beyond in the basement , how about they are in the gutter! There is a whole lot of self-serving and preaching going on. But I ask the question… Do you honestly represent the life you “claim” to be about?
For example… I had conversation with a female who claims to be a teacher… She told me she doesn’t do “slavery” or history movies and things of that nature because that bored her. She rather “watch” the filthy and raunchiness of sex and money on reality shows. Also, she blatantly admitted she would risk trapping some fool into having a child out wedlock with her. She expressed “if he leaves ” so what… As much as I tried to be expressionless… I felt that “urge” to ask what in the world was she smoking?
We like to “blame” men about the choices that they make but what about this ignorant behavior and poor choices women make as well? It was apparent… that some women are absent of many things in her value system… But “I” found it insulting that she was teaching our children anything!
I knew that we have to wonder why it is getting worse. I know that there are many conduits why men are becoming more and more less involved with family matters and rather run in the streets and chipper chase!
I also must add …I recently read that the street gangs in Dayton, Ohio is off the meter and growing in record numbers! More than 16% were affiliated with some kind of street gang in some capacity! No matter how you continue to look at it…There is always this “club” where men will bond in violence or whoring!
Who do you question the absentee parent or the women who continue to have more and more children with “multiple baby daddies”?
What is more personified than ever among our celebrities… The message is all the same… It doesn’t matter how many lovers and whose the father of your children…and its all about public voyeurism and exhibitionism. Just a remember woman are just as responsible for these situations. We must instill our value system as a whole and not in parts.
What happened to somewhat independent thinking and moral values? What moral fiber connects us? I have personally ministered to the any public… I better not catch “any male” teaching my son how to be violent or be whorish. Either one is deplorable! What amazes me… As that many see where it all goes wrong and ignore that it’s wrong. The heart of certain people today… Get rich and kill others for it! The fact that our westernize society and customs seem say one thing and but act another way! Collectively the things that our people should unify on … and yet, we are still divided.
Their are certain groups of men that will huddle together about getting a notch on their belt instead of speaking with a stronger male for wisdom of advice about maintaining his household and building it on a sure foundation of God and his wisdom!
Life can happen to anyone of us but we must gather the proper thought process. People have a tendency to gravitate to people, places and things that wont hold them accountable.
Finally, women as I strongly interject , you are not the man, and I agree we can multi-task. … We must do better even in times of loneliness and distress!
Something that strikes me oddly on a mere observation…Some women complain about a man living with their mother but will bed down or stay with a man who has multiple baby mommas and or a wife. Something to think about!
Men do not “allow” your lordship to be given into foolish desires… and teach our young that any “rites of passage” should be productive!